Understand first that there are many ways to achieve a happy and content dry | sober life. Keep on reading.
I'm writing in August 2023 at the age of 47, with 3 years and 3 months of sobriety under my belt 👊. I'm currently based in Tenerife, Canary Islands, Spain.
From ages 18 to 44, I battled alcoholism and workaholism.
The content I'm sharing is based on my own experiences and also draws from a year of supporting a relapsing addict in 2022. By the way, that particular year was unequivocally the toughest period of my life. I also had to cope with the sudden and tragic death of another active alcoholic in my home and BnB
I purposefully write in a direct and universal manner, so it's easily translatable by 🤖 . If you're anything like me and prefer to skip the basics, please don't. The basics are often ignored in recovery.
I date everything, as this blog is also my journal and 1 of my recovery tools 🔧 but it's also important for us both to understand how my clarity continues to return as my sobriety lengthens. Yours will too, and it's incredible.
August 2019. 10 months pre-rehab
Although I began attempting to cut down in August 2019, it took me another 10 months to reach rehabilitation with full detox. At that time, nothing was deterring me. My blood results seemed acceptable, I had access to plentiful funds, but I remained deeply in denial.
My behaviors were shifting. I even resorted to using the crew, set, and props of Outlander to mask my chronic addiction. Despite my lack of interest in Outlander, looking back, it was an unusual experience. But seriously, hundreds of crew members, well-known faces, constant activity, and me during the nighttime 🌙
At that juncture, I realised that if I kept up with my whisky consumption, I was bound to hit rock bottom eventually. The reality is that, now looking back today, I was already there. I was rarely experiencing withdrawal symptoms as I was topped up sufficiently throughout the day.
Selfishly, I was yearning for something or someone to force my hand. The thought of sobriety (my future) hadn't been addressed. I was gripped by fear and denial. I'd even venture to say that I wasn't fully aware of who I was from age 18 to 44.
For some reason, this long term partner had my respect that no-one else did. Yet I was still drinking openly around him, and topping up privately. Am I mad? Ans he never really drank alcohol, but became abstinent 💯 around this time
June 2020 arrived, my partner was so desperate that it was either I seek therapy immediately or everything around me would crumble.
"I'm in a bad place. My dad has suggested a visit."
Those ten words, his genuinely jarring delivery, and the sheer desperation I had never witnessed from him before initiated the process of my sobriety.
Without a doubt, I therefore consider myself fortunate to have had an exceptional partner and father-in-law. Holding them in high regard, their combined efforts saved my life. An unconventional duo, but that's what definitely propelled me into rehab almost immediately 👍.
I had already tried moderating my drinking, but it proved futile.
Rehab would offer me the detoxification, time, and space necessary to initiate my recovery.
Not just alcohol, as an ambitious businessman I'd not slowed down, I worked hard graft for 26 years. Fuelled daily, by alcohol.
Only later did I find out - after leaving rehab in July 2020 - that during the period above, my partner had contemplated taking his own life near the River Forth, Scotland.
That's the extent of the harm I was inflicting on him. He was in perpetual worry, rightfully hurt, angry, and desperate. I'm convinced he would have followed through if not for the three rescue dogs that relied on him. Interesting I never knew until after rehab
Timing
Come March 2020, everything that comes with being a business owner during a crisis had to be put on hold. Pandemic | Lockdowns | Furlough arrived, offering a window of opportunity to finally relinquish work and my business as excuses not to get myself sorted.
By the way, My life partner was also my business partner, so the business was in more than capable hands.
So the key moment of human intervention, the window of opportunity Covid created, the way in which my partner handled the situation, reaching my rock bottom all brought everything together. And it's working. The business has been lost to Covid and we ended the relationship mutually. We both recognise each others own recovery. It definitely isn't all about me. I feel honoured to say I truly know the meaning of being in love with another person.
What next?
There are hundreds of inspiring people, whom like me, have achieved great things despite challenges and knock backs during recovery. Stick with the Winners.
You can do it, if you want it enough.
If you are ready, I want you to reach your rock bottom sooner than it took me as I was in denial for far too long. You are not only gifting yourself the chance to make preparations, but also avoiding any permanent organ or brain damage.
My rehab experience was a huge success 🙌 I initially gave them a 5☆ review and I would today. I am 1 of the most vocal of their Alumni and I believe that they deserve success. If anything, I hear they need to make improvements to their After Care.
Treatment for Alcoholism at Delamere Rehab, UK, does come at a cost. As mentioned above, I tried reduction, but I knew I was all or nothing. I also needed the medical supervision for a supervised detoxification. And as I only attended Delamere this is the only rehab centre that I am able to recommend.
If you are interested to learn more about their offering, you can visit their website or call on 00441615245619.
Thanks for reading and best wishes
James
@SoberGayGolfer